For those of you who don't know who Pete Wentz is (and I know that's actually a lot of people on my flist because until a few months ago I couldn't give two flying fucks about modern music and attached drama) he's bassist for the band Fall Out Boy and generally a giant douche. But he's a funny douche, like... Tucker Max or something. Just don't get too close to him or the amusement fades.
ANYWAYS apparently P33t here has done some ads for the GAP. Yeah, shit you not, and at this community my good friend T is in there was talk of cardboard standups being involved in this advertising campaign.
If this was true, T and I were planning on stealing one from the GAP. Partly so we could then take photos of 101 things to do with a Pete Wentz standup and partly because the image of her and I fleeing the GAP with a cardboard Pete under our arms (personally I add a soundtrack of wacky chase music to this image for optimal effect) made us piss ourselves for like an hour straight.
But I fear it isn't true, so instead I think I'm going to have one made. Because that list MUST be made. We've already come up with several ideas.
BUT WE NEED YOUR HELP TO MAKE THIS DREAM A REALITY.
1. Take it to see Snakes on a Plane.
3. Ironing board - want those GAP clothes to look nice, right?
4. Stand at a bus stop with it and have long one-sided conversations.
5. Spring mount it in someone's birthday cake. Better than a stripper. Surprise Grandma!
6. Staple a g-string on it and use it to hold spare single bills.
7. Switch his head with the head on a Darth Maul standee.
8. Or a Yoda one.
9. Jewels and beads + hot glue gun = Body mod!Pete!
10. Give it to a kid you're baby sitting along with a box of Mr. Sketch markers. Wait.
12. Glue a fridge clip to it's teeth. Use it to hold important messages and notes to yourself.
13. Give it to me with some paints. I'll repaint it to be naked. But with a censor bar over his crotch. Not that we haven't all seen that before (thank you Peengate) but to help him try and regain some of that mystique he never really had.
15. If you get pulled over by the cops, put the Pete in the driver's seat. Watch the fun ensue.
16. Leak "suicide notes" to the press, supposedly from Pete. Go to a populated area and put the standee on top of the roof of a tall building. Wait until a crowd has gathered, then yell "GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD" and push it. Wait to watch just what the 13 year old fangirls do. EDT: T suggest a Best Buy instead? Harsh.
17. Have it attend a FOB live concert. Put it in the front row. Have cardboard Pete crowd surf.
18. Cardboard Pete + cardboard Patrick = cardboard slash photoshoot.
19. Draw fangs on him. Take the spring mount from #5 and go to the window of someone you dislike or just want to scare. Scratch on the window for a while and then launch vampire!Pete at the window.
20. Start a Myspace for cardboard Pete.
23. Backyard wrestling.
24. Scarecrow for your garden.
25. Take it shopping. Have it model clothes for you.
26. Take it to Six Flags. Insist it go on the roller coasters with you. Sob and mourn its death when it falls out. Try and sue the park for the fatal accident.
27. Use it for a Monty Python-esque Ex-Pete comedy routine.
28. Have an abusive relationship with it. Smack it around and insist it get you a beer.
29. Have an insane on-again-off-again relationship with it. Cheat on it every few weeks, only to get back together with it later insisting that he's all you ever loved.
30. Have it start dating your 11 year old little sister. Marvel at the accuracy.
Please help me fill this list out! We plan on illustrating this with photos of our actual cardboard!Pete!